Wednesday, November 7, 2007

note to handbasket: we’re on our way to hell

G has reached a new milestone this week – he now understands the concept of bribery.

On Monday morning, during the usual contortionist stroller-wrestling match, I finally crouched down next to him and in my best soft-mommy voice said, “Now, sweetheart, I need for you to be a good boy and cooperate because mommy is very tired. If you can climb into your stroller all by yourself like a big boy, mommy will give you a trick-or-treat” (we have a bag full of more or less nasty/wonderful Halloween candy in honor of the holiday, which isn’t really celebrated here. Since G hasn’t really had candy before – though he’s had his fair share of pastry and cookies, mind you – we’ve taken to calling all of it “trick-or-treat”).

G stared at me for all of three seconds – what brave new world is this? – and then crawled right into his stroller. Just like that.

So I gave him some candy.

Since then life has been pretty merry in our fallen, candy-trading universe. My happiness has taken on the sheen of a snack-sized Snickers, at least until God strikes me down with a parenting manual blow-to-the-skull.

Or all of our teeth rot out of our heads.

2 comments:

Annah said...

You should read Dr. Phil, it'll make you feel heavenly instead of hellish. He says that raising children and disciplining them is ALL ABOUT CURRENCY. Systems of rewards for good behavior and removal of rewards for bad behavior. He says it's all young kids can understand - Gus won't understand "Mommy is tired" until he's 18, but he obviously picked up "I'll get a Snickers" in three seconds.

Rebecca said...

Beware: the next step into the realm of reality parenting is "Because I said so." And then you'll look in the mirror fully expecting to see someone else glaring back at you . . . like your mom! It happens to the best of us!

Rebecca